Greed, jealousy, and anger. These are all emotions that everyone struggles with.
A lot of the time these emotions stem from a simple thing – insecurity. Whether it’s physical insecurity, an imaginary insecurity, or comes in some other form, insecurity is the general culprit.
But why are we insecure? Let’s look at the even deeper root cause of these emotions.
First off, I’d like to say that I believe the trick to getting emotions like these in check is to understand the root cause of them. Once we have this understanding we can confront the true problem head on.
And the main root problem for most destructive emotions in normal, healthy people is the fear of loss.
It isn’t the desire for wealth that spurs greed. It is the fear of losing what one already has.
Being jealous of that girl/guy talking to your significant other is because you’re insecure. And you’re insecure because you fear losing your significant other.
You’re angry at someone for a small slight. But it’s because you fear losing control or fear the loss of respect.
Obviously much of this can be counteracted by gaining rock solid confidence and becoming “secure” in oneself. But how can you become confident NOW?
Sorry, you can’t. At least not truly confident and secure. That sort of thing takes time and effort.
There really isn’t any quick fix for this. But understanding the root of the problem can help you achieve your goal of becoming a confident, secure, and attractive person.
Much of what eastern philosophy teaches talks about letting go of the Ego. Even modern western psychology talks a bit about such things.
You see, when you let go of the Ego you let go of the idea of possessing anything. You no longer have ownership over anything. Nothing is yours.
Interestingly enough a paradox occurs at this point – when you truly realize that nothing is yours then everything is in your reach.
Letting go of the ego, the idea of having “things”, releases you from the fear of loss. How can you be insecure about losing money when the money was never yours to begin with?
How can you be angry at someone for a small slight if you never truly had honor in the first place? The honor isn’t stockpiled, after all. Honor is tested. (Link to an article about Honor)
Letting go and letting things be is probably one of the hardest things most people will learn to do in their lives. In this day and age, possession of “things” is of made to seem of paramount importance.
In the grand scheme of things, it is not. What will these things you have today help you with in 40 years? How will they help when you are dead? Learn to understand things are in transition and you are only a caretaker of them for a time.
Money is in your custody for only a finite time. A romantic lover only gifts you with their presence until they, nature, or you decide it is time to move on.
So practice letting go of the reigns at times. Practice letting go of control and ownership of things. Learn to see the way in which things transfer from the custody of one person to another. (Link to article about the creation/life span of things?)
And in doing so you may just experience the exact opposite of what most would expect. In letting go of ownership, you may become the caretaker for more than you ever hoped.